And really, I just miss us.

So, part two of my emotional baggage release; the breaking up of my colleagues and I. I'll say the truth here and nothing but the truth. And I don't care anymore if this stirs up drama because having a blogspot is like asking for drama and our group is so fake that it really is starting to get on my nerves. We are all held together by a thin thread that only connects to all of our needs and selfish ways. We are not pure to each other, and WE WILL NEVER BE. (To All of us anyway) And if we are, it's either we are pure to one or two people at a time, and then as if it were a game, the wheel turns and we all switch to different "friends". I'm sick and tired of all the BS circulating around us. I hate all the stupid Anthony drama that you guys can't even settle for the sake of us, I hate all the things that made us change this year, I hate how we can laugh with each other but inside our minds, we know very well that we have problems with each other. I hate how we only turn to each other for big news or if there is some to tell, I hate how we try and try so hard to get over someone by turning to other guys or people for our own selfish needs and solace. Why can't we all just try to be happy on our own and with life and with the friends that God has given us? Why do we have to be in desperate need for someone to talk to or blog about in order to "get happy"??? In my opinion, in order to cleanse ourselves from unhealthy habits (whether it be coming back to a certain person, or talking shit about anyone, ANYTHING!) we have to be able to move on by ourselves before starting anew with someone else. Because what are you gonna do when there are no one left to turn to or find solace in? That same person who hurt you and who you're addicted to will be there in the back of your head, STILL. I hate this. I really do. And I've been bottling it up for days now, and I don't care what any of you think about this. I just have to get it out. And I hate how we try to get back at each other and retaliate, or how we always assume things and talk about what other people put on their blog....it's getting really sickening now. It's making me want to pull away. From everything. From everyone. And I hate how we always pretend to be "happy" or "over someone". I'm not saying that I'm perfect, I know my flaws. I know I can't get over the stupid Tim thing, and I'm admitting that. But at least I'm trying to get over him on my own and not through little schemes and rebounds. And if ever I do fall back on my knees, I admit it, instead of lie. Yeah so, if you're not over someone yet, WHO CARES?! It's the most natural, most normal thing in the world! And it's not necessarily good, but that's just the way it is. Because once you lie, you will make other people think otherwise and then you go get hurt because they do something while thinking you've moved on, and then you mope about it. So just...just let it out and voice yourself...tell them all how you really feel. And if you don't want to do that, then keep it to yourself, cause word gets around and the lesser we have of drama, the less we have to be fake about something. This doesn't apply to only one person, this applies to ALL OF US. I hate how you guys try to cover up what you really mean with fancy words. You think it's funny getting revenge on people and being fake to them at the same time? NO! IT'S NOT! That's just you stirring up more trouble and being a conniving bitch. We're supposed to be friends, so why are we doing this to each other? Sheesh man...how will we ever get through this? Things are not the same anymore, and whether we are strong enough to keep friendships with each other is no longer guaranteed. It's safe to say that we may never know each other anymore five-ten years from now or be in each other's lives. You think Katrina just left Alvarez for its boringness and the fact that she has a bf at North High? She left us because we were so fake. She didn't get too close to us because of our conniving, selfish, back-stabbing ways. That's the real reason why she didn't get too close to any of us (well not really me) That's the reason. I love you all I really do, but the drama is ruining everything. We barely hang out anymore, and I hate you guys changing because of a certain person or activity. I wouldn't be complaining about the changes if they were good, but the fact is, it isn't. You wanna know the truth? Our group is pure plastic. Sadly, the medicine is drained out from our attempts, there is no more cure.